On the sly, we became best friends

There are some things that I find so challenging to write and one of them is my relationship with Zappa.  He has always been a sort of enigma and I find it difficult to express what is happening between us.  It is also difficult to understand what is happening and the bond that is forming.  That seems to be the mystery of it and the part that I can't explain in human form.

It seems like I can't even begin to try.

I recognized this a long time ago about Zappa.  He is hard to explain.  He is an old soul, with a wisdom beyond measure and eyes that cover eons of time.

It is so different from my bond with Brut

There has always been a riff between Zappa and me before Brut died.  Brut may have been aggressive with Zappa, but Zappa would never submit to Brut and that would cause Brut to lash out at him.  Zappa is also a tester.  He will test his limits and push them as far as possible.  It was another reason Brut would snap at him.  Not that Brut was innocent, but Zappa is part to blame for the friction that went on between them.   And it didn't help that Zappa was smarter than Brut and used his wits to his advantage.

I witness these taunts from Zappa quite often, but I was always too late to stop anything after Brut would attack.  I had a small, growing resentment towards Zappa because of the way he was and because he would do the same thing with me, pushing my limits and such.  I didn't help that he had a bigger mouth on him than all the dogs put together pending my aggravation of him further.

As Brut's aggression got under some control, Zappa and I developed an "under the table" kind of relationship when we were by ourselves.  And when Brut died,  it was Zappa that took me under his paw and gently guided me through the devastating loss.

I wasn't able to accept Zappa as the new king and I refused to for some time.  I don't know when that all changed, but it did.  Zappa has become my rock.  When I don't know if I can hang on any longer with this life and wishing for the next, he understands and lets me know I'm OK.  Silent and still, he lets me know things are going to be alright.  The same thing Brut used to do but on a simpler level.  Somehow with Zappa he has given me the strength of Brut and the calm of his mother, Silver, to show me everything is going to be fine. 

A blessed friendship that has grown so slowly over time is really beginning to blossom.

I love you Zappa!