It is so cool when we both "get it!"

Interesting thing about having independent thinking dogs is watching them make their own decisions.

For example:  Chance and getting used to the nail trimmer/grinder

First, I started with the grinder in my hand while it was off and started with "touch."  Chance has this command down pat.  He touched his nose to the tool.  Click and treat.  Then he starts touching the trimmer with his paw...jackpot of treats.  

Then I turn on the battery operated grinder and try again with "touch."  He does touch with his nose, but he's a bit more hesitant.  Still holding the machine in my hand I keep pushing it towards him and asking touch.  He starts backing up and is visibly getting more upset and scared.  

I stop.  Turn the tool off and put it out of sight.  

The other dogs caught on really quick and made way past this step in minutes flat.  I think I was expecting the same response with Chance to catch on. This was too much, too fast for him.  

Chance was still willing to play, I just needed to give him a chance.  

So I put the tool on the floor, told him "touch," and let him decided what he wanted to do.  

One treat for a nose touch and bunch more for touching with his paw.  

He caught on quickly now that I wasn't trying to make him do it.  

Nose, treat.  Nose, treat.  Paw, lots of treats.

Then when he was feeling confident, I turned the grinder on and set it back on the floor with the same guidelines.   Again, giving him the chance to decided what he wanted to do and how to do it.   

It was so fascinating to watch his confidence grow, his body relax, and he was smiling.  He was so proud of himself for conquering that humming little machine and I was so proud of myself for listening to him, so I could change my game plan.    

Very cool.  Don't you think?  Chance was able to face his fears and have control over how he wanted this training bit to go.

(Next time I will try to get video, or at least some photos!)

Merry Christmas!

From the 24 Paws of Love

How does your dog do at the vet?

All the dogs are good at the vet except Chance.  Even though the other 3 are a little nervous, our vet is able to perform any exam or x-ray needed with good cooperation from the dogs.

And then there is Chance...

Siberians are known for being hyper, anxious dogs, but Chance takes it to a new height.  He screams when the vet just starts to come close.  Hubby, Mark and I always have to take him together to hold him down for blood work and shots.  Forget any kind of physical exam, it's fight or flight for this boy!  He has to wear a muzzle, because he'll nip.  He just doesn't like being touched or messed with in general, so a vet visit pushes his limits.

I avoid taking him to the vet until it is absolutely necessary.  This last visit had been one of those occasions.  He had been limping on what seemed to be his left front leg, holding it in the air even and I couldn't tell if there was also a problem with his back leg as well.  It had been going on for a while and seemed to be on and off thing.  So I broke down and made an appointment.

Well, we lost Chance's muzzle over the summer so Mark picked up one the day before the appointment.  It was called a "Comfort Fit" muzzle which meant the mouth opening was bigger than the narrow one I'd had before.  Chance needed a refresher course for the muzzle while I fitted it to him and for the most part he was fine with everything.

The whole appointment was our vet massaging up and down Chance's back and legs, searching for the point of pain.  Chance was doing fantastic.  He was so relaxed and actually enjoying this visit!

She located the source of pain, in his toe and his super long nails.  I knew they were bad.  I've never had to trim them before with walks and dog sledding, his nails stayed manicured.  The thought of me clipping his nails was intimidating to say the least, but for the vet to do it right then and there with no problem was another OMG moment for me and Chance!  bol

I was so blown away by how cooperative Chance was, how relaxed and easy he was, it was encouraging. Not to mention the fact that we didn't have to pin him down to do the exam was a HUGE bonus and made a big difference on Chance.

Now I don't know if this was a one time thing, or just the fact there were no needles being stuck in him, but it was the happiest I'd ever seen Chance at the vet's office in 11 years.

And that made for a very happy mommy and daddy!!

How was your dog's last exam??

Freedom through Chance's spirit.

After x amount of time going where he thinks I want him to or at least taking a route that accompanies his speed, without even looking up, this fierce stallion of a dog gently takes the lead.  He guides me down the snow trodden path and into the trees.  His gait slows with his large pads plodding softly on the snow.   I feel my breath escape me and my shoulders fall. The tension evaporates from my body, leaving me with a light and airy feeling.

It is just me and him in this snowflake covered mini forest.

Surrounded by bark and snow, the world falls away.

I can feel each paw print he makes stamped onto my heart.

He checks on me by looking back to the left, keeping the communication strong between us.

"Come with me," his eyes beckoned.

We have not walk alone and free in a long time.  Walk times are crammed with schedules and constraints of the setting sun.

I've lost the essence of what a walk with my heart dog can really be.

As I follow him I feel like I'm riding an old horse walking familiar trails.

Chance
is the horse.

I have felt this horse analogy with Chance throughout our many years together, as if his true spirit is more equine than canine.

Running free.

The same freedom he wants me to find.

And I did.

Through...him

If it isn't one thing, it is another.

We found out a couple of months ago that Chance had crystals in his urine.  These crystals are the building blocks to kidney stones.  He has been on a special food since this finding and thank goodness he really likes it.

We've always given our dogs a bite of whatever we are eating, but Chance and Blaze (the Front Dogs of the two packs) are especially spoiled being that the kitchen is on their side of the house.  Chance will just about eat anything.   And while he never gets foods that is dangerous to him, we just found out that after being on this special food for 2 months, his diet is about to take a drastic turn.  

Last urine check showed there were no crystals, but his pH levels were too high, one of the causes of producing these crystals.  That and the ability to digest proteins.  This is where the special food comes in.  So Chance needs a highly digestible protein and low pH levels in order not to produce these urine crystals.

Our vet told us that he has to be on a strict diet eating this food to keep the crystals and his pH at bay.  No more nibbles from the table.  The only thing he can eat is veggies, low sugar fruits (mostly berries), his food and specialized treats that coincides with his food.  The biggest thing we are cutting out is dairy, meats, nighttime treats.  Chance has always loved veggies and fruits, but it's going to be sad getting out the cottage cheese and not giving him a bite.  I am little sad because sharing my food with the Front Dogs, especially Chance has helped me out of some tough times and was our thing.  It's probably what got him here in the first place or at least played a part. I'm going to miss that part of our bonding time.  But, I"m making the best of it for myself and Chance.  The most important thing is that he is getting better and altering his diet will help his health.  All that matters is getting him better so he can stay around longer.

We'd do anything for our boy!

Update on Chance and Blaze post-fight

Since posting about the fight with Chance and Blaze and how they are being cautious with each other, they seem to be reconciling.  They are improving with each other every day.  They are hanging out in the same rooms and standing close for treats.  It has been a good week after the hard dog fight they had.  We are so happy.  

Here's something has given me something to chew on:  While talking to the vet about the fight, how they didn't stop, the length of it and how I had to really scream to get their attention; she said that Chance and Blaze could be responding to my screaming as if I was saying it was wrong for them to be together.  I've been pondering the information this evening and I can see that in the dogs actions that the vet could be right.  

For example:  I was eating a carrot.  Both dogs in front of me.  But after giving Blaze a bite, she left, letting Chance get the rest of the treat.  Blaze. Never. Leaves. If Food Is Present.  Never.  

So maybe what our vet said was true.  And that it is up to me to bring them together and let them know it is OK for them to be together.  

Interesting, huh?

Any thoughts?

About a week before Thanksgiving...

In almost eleven years I can probably count on one hand or so how many times Chance and Blaze have ever gotten into a fight.  And it is almost always over food.  But something about this time was different.  Because they didn't stop fighting when I called their names, like they have before.  It was their longest fight they have ever had.  Almost three times as long than any time in the past.  To say they were shook up over it and were both leery with each other, is an understatement.

Chance scratched the white of Blaze's eye.  It was swollen and red and took two days to heal itself.   That was the worst of the physical damage.  But the emotional toll it took, was far beyond the damage of Blaze's eye.

They have kind of stayed away from each other for those two days and were both over respectful with each other.  It scared me a little.  What a difference those extra seconds made for them during that fight.  And to be fair it was kind of my fault.  They were all hyped up for their dinner, everyone was going crazy and then bam!  Suddenly Chance and Blaze were at each other's faces.

By the end of day 3 they were starting to come around to each other, just slightly.  Yet, here at day 11 since the fight, both are still acting scared of the other.

So I don't know what happened differently, other than the fight going on longer than normal, but it's a little scary watching them together.  There's no aggression of any kind, they just seem so cautious with each other and want to stay out of the other's way.

I feel like all the trust that was between them has been shattered in a way I can't understand or make better.  I don't know that there is anything I can do to "fix it" and that it will take Chance and Blaze to heal themselves and each other.  It is going to take time.  I just hope it repairable.  They have always been pretty good together and are fairly close, though not physically, but mentally.  I call them the Dynamic Duo.  It is why they made such good sled dogs, because they are quite the team and work together like a couple of Powerhouses.  There is no doubt that one always knows what the other is thinking, at all times.  So must have come as quite a shock to them when they were battling it out.  An accidental reaction that turned completely out of control. 

And if they were unprepared, image how I felt.  Totally out of character for both of them.  I would have not been able to predict that was going to happen, even after all my reviewing of the situation.  I don't think it was the fight itself, but the length of time and not being able to stop them that scared me.  That was not like either of them at all. 

So we'll be keeping an eye on them and saying some prayers.  And hopefully they will be able to come back together to be that wonderful team I love.  The Dynamic Duo. 

the Singing Duo

Brut Thursday, November 22

November 22, 2006 is Brut's Gotcha Day. 

Thursday is the day Brut died.

And today is Thanksgiving.

A day filled with sadness, joy, grief and many memories of thanks.

Miss you Bruter Boy....

Released fears and Every Day Miracles

It has almost been a month since we took Fiona to ER and had that terrible scare of vomiting and diarrhea with her.  Instantly we feared the worst, as it felt and looked like a repeat of Brut and Silver's deaths.  I hate that feeling.  Hubby, Mark felt it too.  It tears you to shreds, that fear, of losing everything all over again much too soon.  It is the worst feeling in the world.

It took about three weeks for Fiona to fully recover.  It seemed like forever.  She is now back to eating full meals and is her lovable and conniving self.  I wish I knew what got her so sick.  She ate that rabbit two weeks before she got sick, would it really take that long or did I notice too late?  Regardless, the entire thing was so frightening and unbelievable that Mark and I were wiped out emotionally and physically from the whole experience.  

And it isn't like we haven't been through bouts like this before, but having the flashbacks of losing Brut and Silver entangled in it, gives an entirely different element.  I'm not ready to face the inevitable of losing the last four dogs of the family.  I just pray for one more day, every day and do my best to give them a long, healthy life.

Because...

All I know for sure, is that every day is a blessing with them.  A complete and total gift from God that these four dogs are part of our living family.  They are our every day miracles.

Front Dogs and the Burning Bush!

Happy Friday!

Hi there!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Chance and the UPS man

Had an interesting day with Chance.  We were headed out for a walk and I was outside with Chance putting on his harness, when the UPS guy showed up in front of the house.  I thought, "Oh, great.  Chance is outside with me...what am I going to do to control him?"

When suddenly the driver was stuck in the snow trying to turn around in the cul-de-sac.

The light bulb flashed and I started throwing treats in the yard, near the house.

"Find It!"

Chance was confused for a few minutes, "What happen to our walk," his face said, but he followed my lead.  Gobbling treats and keeping most of his focus on me.

It was the first time I'd used "Find It," as a diversion in a real life setting and it was working!

When the truck driver finally freed himself and walked up to delivered the package, Chance was by the side of the yard, but wasn't barking or charging.  It was fantastic!

Our First Snowfall Of the Year!

We have about 4 inches of snow that fell on yesterday in what seemed like a mini-blizzard.

Fall isn't even over with yet.  There are still many trees with leaves on them in our area!

This is the Back Dogs "Dog Talk Time" Canopy, where we spend many days and nights starting our days and catching up at night.  We start as early in the spring as possible, through summer and as late into fall that we can.  

The Front Dogs have one as well.  And like every day is with two packs, we visit one side and then the other.  Gotta be fair.  :)

And then there is Zappa who venture out with me tonight to get these snow pics.  He is more concerned with what creatures might be living in the wood shed than me getting his picture.  bol

Love this one with the snow on his nose!

He was waiting for his modeling treats that I didn't have. I'm getting that look!

And the pine trees!  Can't call it up north without the pine trees.  

Happy Snow Day!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

A quick update for those who are wondering...

Fiona is doing much, much better.  We think the antibiotic she was taking was making her a little queasy and that may be the reason she was having a hard time eating.  She just took her last one today, so hoping she will get back her to regular food amount.  She needs to gain back those couple of pounds she lost!

Thank you again for the POTP for her!

Fiona is finally starting to feel better!

This is how my poor girl looked for the last week.  So tired, weak, and run down.  After 3 different medications from the vet, today was the first day she didn't have diarrhea!  YAY!  And after a week with barely an appetite she was able to have some chicken broth and noodles!  Double YAY!

We still have a little ways to go until we are back to our regular food, but it is a start.

Just how sick was Fiona?  Bad enough that big brother Zappa laid down next to her on the bed at bedtime, something that rarely happens...we were all scared.

And this is my girl today.  Happy, jumping for food, barking at the neighbors dog, and back to her old self.  Couldn't be happier.

Thank you for your POTP!

It's working!

Our "little" Fiona needs your POTP

It's been almost a week since we took Fiona to ER for vomiting and diarrhea.

She still isn't better.

She killed and ate half a rabbit about three weeks ago and the vet thinks this is the result that.

We've been to our vet twice for blood work and medicines.  Blood work all checked out, especially her liver levels and the medicine seems to be working to control her symptoms.

But she barely eating.

This is where you come in.  We need some Power of the Paw to help her through.

Please any good thoughts, wishes, energies and prayers, we will take them.

I'm really hope that it is just a slow recovery and not something more serious...

Thank you!

Brut Thursday- Brut's roses survive!

Well, Brut's roses survived the summer!

and are bursting into fall

He's a tough old boy

Seeing how I almost baked him in the spring

AND

survived the drought we had this summer

That's my Bruter boy!

Big, Bold, and Beautiful!

Blaze's deteriorating lenses.

Huskies and Labs are sight dogs.   Their eyes are their strongest sense.  All four of our dogs are about 3/4 Husky and a 1/4 Lab, so their eyes are important.

I started noticing a couple of years ago that Blaze's eyes were clouding over.  In fear of glaucoma, the vet checked her out and said,"It was lens deterioration.  Which is just as it sounds.  Old age catching up and the lenses begin to deteriorate.  For the most part she can still see and you may notice her struggle more at night."  

I wonder if it is hereditary?  If so, they probably got it from their mother, Silver, as she also had it.  Because I also see slight signs of it in the rest of the dogs.  Or is it normal old age? 

I don't really notice any difference with Blaze, except when we play "find it."  (I throw treats around the yard and they "find it")  When I throw the treats, she strains to see them fly and land.  Then she looks back at me, wondering if I really did throw them, because she can't see them.  There is a look of worry in her face.  At this point I throw a couple more closer to her, hoping she will see them, but it is mute.  Eventually she tries to find them with her nose.  I didn't realize how much she depended on her sight for that game.  And if I really think about it, I am sad for her, but honesty that's the only sign I see.  Otherwise she my silly, bouncing, mouthy Blaze who can still catch treats in the air, keep the cat in check and catch a chipmunk, like the rest of the gang. 

I'm sure there will be more things that show as she continues to age.  All I can do is take it in stride, don't dwell on it and give her the best life possible.  Really that's all any of us can do for our dogs and enjoy every minute with them.  

What is the oddest item you have kept after the loss of a pet?

There are the usual things, like collars, leashes, blankets, bowls, toys and beds that we keep after our furry loved ones pass on.  I even have the last medications from both Silver and Brut, stored away for what, I don't know.  I'm sure there are many more common things that us pet lovers keep, but what is the strangest?  What is that oddball thing that you just can't seem to part with?  That one thing that no one would understand except for your pet and you?

Mine is this stack of large yogurt cups.

Hubby, Mark can't understand why I've kept them.  Heck, I don't even know if I understand why I can't part with them.

Brut and I used to share a bit of yogurt every day all by ourselves.  He was just so adorable with food when we were alone.  No other dogs to threaten him and he would be so comical and attentive with me.  No fear.  He was so beautiful in these moments.  He was so bright eyed and bushy tailed, if you will.  His true self shining through.  Not the leader of the pack dog or the enforcer dog.  He was so content and happy to share with me and I with him. 

I could get him to do anything for food.  Place him in any position.  Add props.  Anything.  But during our yogurt time, he was free to just be himself.  Happy and free with a treat.  It was kind of magical who this boy was when his guard was down. 

He would eat from a spoon and he was good at it.  His eyes were soft and intent while his fur stood on end in excitement.  He had a smile on his face that shined with serenity. 

This is the first time I really explored why I've kept these yogurt cups and now it makes sense to me. 

It was my quality time with the REAL Brut. 

The boy I will always remember. 

How I wish I had a picture of his face of happiness.

At least now I have the memory the go with the cups.

So how about you?  What the strangest thing you ever kept from a loss pet?

Black and White Sunday- In the Air...

The many moods of Zappa over one minute.

The Sunrise

It all started at dusk when Zappa, Fiona and I went outside to enjoy the warm morning air.  It was 71°F.  A record for this time of the year.  We sat drinking in the gentle warmth anticipating the sunrise.

We do not have a horizon, we live the forest with trees everywhere, but just above the tree tops it is possible to get a peek of both the sun rising and setting.  A glimmer, if you will, and as I was about to find out that is all you need.

Zappa was laying about in the middle of the yard, directly in front of me, facing east.  While Fiona was at my feet in her personally dug hole, probably still half asleep.  It was early for all of us being that we are night dogs and people.  It made watching this sunrise even more special.

Lost in my thoughts, I suddenly noticed a pinkish hue glowing against the shed.  For a second I thought, " I never noticed the shed that color before..."  Then my eyes immediately went to the sky as my consciousness caught up to what my eyes were seeing.

It quickly built up from a pinkish-orange into a rich magenta and then quickly faded in a matter of minutes.  But in those few minutes, the whole yard was washed in pink.  It was absolutely beautiful.  And Zappa, Zappa's face just glowed in color as he watched the incredible light crescendo and descend.

I can't remember the last time I have felt so awed by a sunrise.  It was like touching the hand of God.

And Zappa, he could make a believer out of you, bathing in the cascading light that was connecting him to the Big Dog in the sky.

Yeah, it was that powerful.

the Simple things

It was a simple easy-going day yesterday at the 24 Paws of Love.  The dogs and I were recovering from a long day the day before
and we just hung out all day together.  Back and forth, from one pack to the other.  Making the most of this day and being together.

Chance gave a long solo howl which eventually prompted Fiona "across the door" to join in.  I couldn't believe how long the song lasted.  It was beautiful.  It made me wonder what he was singing about and why.  Was there a purpose to his song or did it just want to express himself at that moment?

We ended our sweet little reclusive time by playing the "Find It" game.  I throw treats around the yard and they "find it."  Just before going out to play, all the dogs joined in as the Howling Choir, as always it was awesome!  Zappa does more barking that howling and his voice has become raspy, reminding me of the many years we have spent together.  I love the memories we are making together as the dogs age gracefully.  These are the times I won't have on my memory card, but will be able to recall in a heartbeat with the help of this blog.

That's why I write, because some day all of this will be a memory in my heart.  It's the simple things that make my dogs the light of my life. 

Mr. Solo

Coming full circle with Luigi

Luigi

I stopped feeding the wild birds when our duck, Luigi, passed from eating too many sunflower seeds.  I blamed the birds for killing Luigi.  It wasn't their fault, but I couldn't help it.  Three years later, (last summer) I made a couple of bird feeders and began feeding the wild birds again.  It was such a joy.  My love for birds never stopped, just took a hiatus.  Than about mid-winter the squirrels had taken over the feeders and we had a slick coat of ice all over the backyard, so I quit feeding the squirrels for fear the dogs would hurt themselves chasing the critters on the ice.

Blue jay on my homemade bird feeder

That's when the healing box opened up and I talked with Luigi.  I needed him to forgive me, so I could forgive myself about his death.and he did.  So I was able to forgive myself. 

That was this past spring.  I still couldn't bring myself to feed the birds.  It took me seven months and a lot of back and forth deciding.  My hubby, Mark, also aided to my dilemma.  He found a couple of bird feeders in the dumpster, both like brand new and brought them home, not knowing my emotional turmoil to use them or not.

Nuthatch

Finally, one day I gave in.  Filled the feeders, hung them up and let God take over.  And He did.  I suddenly had a bird haven, with squirrels and chipmunks.  Birds flying all over the place, whizzing by my head, in front and back of me.  This is when it occurred to me, that this is what Luigi would have wanted for me.  A yard full of birds for me to enjoy, harnessing that deep love I have always had for our feathered friends.  I would even call it Luigi's legacy for me.  He gave me a deeper understanding of birds and the relationship that is possible with them.  It is a wonderful, freeing feeling and that's all Luigi ever wanted for me.  I am so blessed to have had him in my life.

As stunning as

It has been a long time since I've seen a dog as stunning as Brut, until we saw a Malamute/maybe Husky male that was strutting his stuff the other day and man, was he a beauty.

He was rather tall, with silvery-white coat, highlighted with black markings around his face, back and tail.  Absolutely stunning.

He didn't walk, but strutted with every step.  He had a confidence and a pride about him that was so much like Brut.  He had it all.

That's the kind of dog I want.  That's the dog I miss.

I didn't think I could get another Husky/Malamute dog again. 

I felt Brut was my "ultimate."  

And I didn't want another Husky/Malamute like Brut.  I have struggled looking at any Northern breeds since losing Brut. 

I've actually been considering a different breed of dog to get when that times comes but honestly, everything about this dog I saw made me fall in love all over again with a Malamute/ Husky dog.  

Like Brut whispering in my ear.

And when the time is right, I will fall in love all over again with Brut in my heart.  

Wordless Wednesday-Scrub-a-dub

My little Blaze after a bath!

Close Encounter of the Dog Kind

For those of you new to the 24 Paws of Love we have four dogs that are made up into two packs each in pairs. They each their own yards and their own sides of the house, with only a door between them.  We call this the separation door, which we must always keep shut because the pairs don't get along with each other.  We've had a handful of fights caused by our own carelessness of not making sure the door is shut all the way when going back and forth between the packs.  

This was one of those times... 

Zappa was barking and pawed at the door that separates the two packs.  Chance headed towards the door from the other side.  I noticed that Zappa's bark was coming through rather clear.  As I ran to the door, Zappa and Chance were slowly backing up away from the door.  It had been pushed about a foot open.  I slammed it shut, everyone barking in fear of what could have happened.  So close.  So very close.

Although I was impressed that both Zappa and Chance backed away at the same time.  Neither really wanted a confrontation.  And since those two have never fought when faced with each other they had no intentions of doing so now.  Thank goodness Fiona was behind Zappa and a little slower to the action, or she would have burst through and started a fight.  

Whew!

Talk about being grateful!!

Somebody up there loves us

.

So is the life of living with two packs of dogs.

Wordless Wednesday- The Name Says it All!

Somebody finally gets me!

Silver- Missing my girl

Silver:  A year and a half gone exactly today.

Missing her velvety coat

Her intensity

Her white muzzle against the snow

Her solid blackness with any background

The way she always slept

I miss everything about Silver.

And then some...

Fiona and her liver

It started out as a urine check for Fiona because I thought she might have a bladder infection.  She had been peeing more and drinking more water than usual.  She also would pee, then poop, then pee again, which I'd never seen her do before.  So hubby, Mark took in her urine sample and we waited for the call.

There was protein in her urine.  Quite possibly her kidneys.  We set up an appointment for a blood test the following week.

We took her in, had a full blood panel done and we got the results at the end of the visit.  Fiona's liver levels are all high.  Not sure exactly what that means, but it isn't good.  We were given liver supplements for Fiona to take for a month and then having levels rechecked.  If her liver levels go back down it is her liver malfunctioning and probably due to old age.  If her levels don't change, then there is something else going on that we will have to look into further.

We are a little scared, but hopeful.  Maybe it won't be as bad as we fear.

Any prayers or well wishes would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you!

WoveN

I always have a difficult time when I'm trying to express my love on paper for our four dogs, Chance, Blaze, Zappa and Fiona.  It is hard for me to put my feelings into words, which I normally don't have any trouble with doing.  I also find it hard to talk about the four "pups" without referencing Brut and Silver in some way.  The qualities of their mom and dad really shine through.  I don't know that I could talk about the "pups" behaviors and temperaments without bringing up Brut and Silver, being that these four are their kids.  They display so many qualities of their mom and dad and having lived with all of them, they have for the most part, become meshed together.  The way they think, feel and respond to us and each other, we have some how become a unit, even with the division of the two packs.  And without Brut here as the top dog, taking all the attention and energy, the four are on even ground.  A parallel playing field if you will.  These four are ALL alpha dogs in their packs.  Hubby, Mark and I are the top dogs now, without Brut, making it centered, with all of the rough edges smoothed out.  There is actually gravity with a solid anchor holding us with an even stronger connection and foundation.  Like Brut's true spirit in leadership has infused us together.  I would have never thought that Brut being gone, would make us so much stronger as two packs and a family as a whole.  Brut was a very powerful dog.  Physically, mentally and emotionally.  He just reverberated with strength.  Imagine the most important being in your family that everyone is drawn to and for good reason.  Now imagine them gone.  The void is enormous.  Your stomach falls to your knees feeling.  You can't grasp your breath.  Your whole life was center on that one being.  This whole blog started out because of Brut.  I have been lost for three years trying not to talk about him.  But I can't.  Brut is in every fiber and being of his kids.  They are excerpts of every personality that Brut had...and I can't just forget about him.  Brut and Silver's death balanced the scales of two extreme dogs.  And while it was both Brut and Silver's death that brought such harmony, it is the Brut in them that is the loudest.  As it should be.  I am living in phenomenon that is unfolding right before my eyes.  Every day.  I can't get over the equality that is between the four dogs currently after Brut stole the spotlight  when he was alive.  He ruled everything.

Brut's spirit has woven our family together, pulling it tight like a drawstring.  

It is comforting and mind blowing at the same time.  

That is just how Brut was.

And still is. ♥

Brut's roses-Three years later

It has been three years ago today that we buried Brut.

I have no idea what to say after three years of missing him.

This is Brut's rose this spring.

I practically baked it.

I covered it with a plastic barrel over the winter and forget to remove it in the spring.

We had an early spring, so it threw me off guard.

I just wasn't paying attention to the weather.

I thought it was a goner for sure.

Afraid that the rose we buried him with wasn't coming back.

And just as much as I feared the loss, I told my husband, "It'll come back.  It's Brut!"

And he did.

This is today.  In fact Brut's rose is thriving!

It was a long couple of months of not knowing if it would come back.

Or if the rose that was infused with Brut was going to have to be replaced.

And I think that would have been difficult on us.

Three years and counting.

Brut's rose is still going strong.