10 months after losing Silver

I did not expect to lose Silver so quickly after losing Brut.  Silver's gene's were strong on her dad's side and I really thought she had a good 3 or 4 more years to live.  Sometimes I'm still in shock over her death from 10 months ago.  Sometimes it is still hard to believe Silver isn't here, her presence is still strong.  I feel her at my side throughout the day and night.

Morning times are my mourning times.  It is when the sadness spills all through my body and I don't know how I am going to go on that day.  I am never alone during these crying spells though, and it is Silver's kids that keep me going knowing that their love and hope will carry me through another day without their mother.

I have been grieving for almost a year now and Silver's anniversary is in January.  Silver is the dog we've had the longest.  Maybe that's why it feels like she is always here and never really left.  Her body may have died, but her spirit is strong with me.  Maybe that is why I've never written about her death on her page.  I just can't bring myself to do it.

I miss my girl.  This time last year we knew she had cancer and we didn't know how long she had.  My time was spent taking care of her until the end.  I miss my little Momma Dog Silver.  I miss her mothering intuition and how she always took care of me.  Her perfect timing, her all knowing and the touch of her velvety fur.  She was so awesome like that.

I'm glad she still here.  I don't feel so alone with her by my side.

Every day is a Gotcha Day with Brut

Eleven years ago today we brought home a 6-week old bundle of fluff and holy terror.  I have never been so terrified of a puppy before but Brut scared the crap out of me! 

Hubby, Mark actually asked me rather sarcastically if I wanted to give Brut back to the breeder.  He didn't understand what the problem was.  I didn't know either, but there was definitely something different about Brut. 

Something very different that would become the foundation of his being.  The foundation that would be built upon and become the magnificent dog he was. 

The dog that would never die, live forever in my heart and where every day is a Gotcha Day with Brut. 

He changed the course of time for me and lead me down his path for all the world to see.  Brut was a being beyond any I've ever known. 

And he is still leading me down his path for all the world to see.

Life has never been the same since Brut entered our lives on this day.

And it never will be again. 

                                  Happy Gotcha Day Brut!

MINE!

Where there was Brut...there was Silver.

 Brut and Silver were a pair, a match made in heaven if you will.  There was no Brut without Silver and no Silver without Brut.  Ever since little Brut joined the family, he was spellbound with Silver.  I have video of a seven-week old Brut humping Silver while she laid on the floor on her back.  Even since that first time, he never stopped trying.  Brut was pretty much enamored with Silver.  So much so that he never tried to leave the yard after another female scent.  And for an unaltered male, that's intense.

I have unfinished post about Brut and Silver's "monogamy," and the curiosity if there is such a thing.  I'm sure if Brut had the opportunity to mate with another female, he would have done it, but I find it unique that he never try to escape for it.  He never roamed. He didn't have to, he had his girl right at home.

This "monogamy" that Brut and Silver carried out was so intense for Brut, I think it was the reason he died first.  Hence, he would have never survived the loss of Silver.  I had these feelings years before Brut died with what I witnessed between them.  Since Brut was an aggressive dog and threw out his feelings instead of withdrawing the situation would have been worse than any dog fight that we've ever had.  Obviously God must have had the same thoughts and we were blessed without knowing what would have happened if Brut hadn't of died first.

And like most couples who live together for years, when one goes, shortly afterwards the second one follows.  Silver was no exception.  After a year and a half without her boy, she followed Brut home.  She had her time with just the kids, preparing them for their new roles they would undertake as the Alpha dogs of the Back Pack.  While she prepared for heaven and her reunion with Brut.

Wordless Wednesday- Intruder Alert