Zappa's Rant

Zappa...aka The MOUTH!

Ever have one of those dogs who likes to give his opinion whether you want to hear it or not?  That's Zappa, aka The Mouth.  Zappa has no problem sharing his dislikes, but mostly he loves to rant about all the unfair injustices in his life, especially when it comes to Chance and the Front Pack.  Zappa is the dog that is undeniably done wrong  in this family and he never lets you forget it.

So, my story starts with needing to finish mowing the back lawn.  The terrain of the Back Dogs, Zappa and Fiona.  Where I precede with asking them to come in the house so they can be out of the path of flying sticks and small rocks.  Both comply, although Zappa gives me that one eyed leary look as he looks out the glass sliding door.

You can't believe a words she says.

Just look how sweet and innocent I am.

The rant starts slowly.  He demands to know what is going on.   There are no sad eyes or begging faces to get what he wants.  Zappa is mad and believes I should meet his demands...

The rant starts to build.  I should never have to come in if I don't want to! If you are out there than I have all alpha status to right to be out there too.  How dare you class me as a second rate citizen and make me listen to you!   How dare you treat me like a dog!  We are equal!  EQUAL!  LET ME BACK OUTSIDE THIS MINUTE, WOMAN!  I WANT BACK OUTSIDE, NOW! 

I'm watching this whole charade and I'm thinking, do I know you?

Sensing my lack of interest in his blatant abuse sends him into a Classic Zappa tirade.  Glaring eyes, shouting obscenities, and how he's going to call his lawyers to report such a violations of his doghood.

Such discrimination...

I went to mow the lawn.

I am much too cute to be a ranting loon.

Once done with the mowing, Zappa is standing like a pretty boy, wagging his tail and smiling with a sheepish glint.  He pretends to take back all his words and even acts a little guilty as I opened the door for him.  Zappa trots outside like the Emperor with no fur and that 'don't you just love me' look. Like nothing happened and everything worked in favor of his elaborate plan.

Until Zappa's next personal injustice is served...

I'll get you my pretty!