Our unique experience and journey of the unconditional love of our two packs of dogs. A healing love that binds us all together and makes them more than just dogs. They are family.
We were just going into beginning of spring when Brut got sick. I was already a bit neglectful of my plants, taking care of Brut, but I didn't realize how far behind I'd gotten in my plant duties until after he died in June.
And then that's when I saw it...a new growth on my biggest and most favorite plant, Dracena fragrans. A new sprout coming right out of the top that was not part of the oringial growth. See, my plants went through a bit of a drought and the top was dried out. I was so afraid I was going to lose the plant, but a miracle happened, after my heart-and-soul dog died, a new sprout appeared and started to grow.
Grief is powerful. It can break you down in ways you never thought possible because I'd done it again, neglecting my plants and the same thing happened. It dried out and didn't have any new growth on it until last month when this new sprout began. At the same time that I had this memory of Brut's death, when I felt like I cried forever. Yet here in the quiet of God's spirit new life was beginning symbolizing my grief and spiritual growth.
This plant is so special to me I named it King (before I had Brut) and it is the only one of my houseplants that has a name. 'He' (yes, I call it a he) rules all the houseplants. And Brut my heart dog was also called the King and was ruler of the dogs and our hearts. Amazing to me how the spiritual world works and the connections that are and can be made between love of two living beings.
If I had any thoughts that Brut's leadership wouldn't live on, I was very, very wrong. ☺
It should have come as no surprise to me that Fiona would naturally slip into Brut's position. She is a natural born leader who thrives on keeping order and the hierarchy.
Fiona was the only dog who submitted to Brut, getting low to the ground, even rolling over on her back, but would take his place when he wasn't around. Now that dominance is coming to the surface when there are treats out. In fact, I got rid of the treat jar that was next to my chair, because Fiona would start to snarl and scare Zappa and Silver away. Another Brut Jr. in the making.
To be honest I haven't gotten over the shock of Fiona taking Brut's place and claiming her own. She could sometimes get a little snarky when treats came out, but now it is every time. She is ready to lunge if needed to get what she wants. Oh what happened to my little girl? In a way it is very disappointing, hurtful and I really wasn't expecting it. It was a very gradual thing, even though she's been acting like this any time Brut was away. I'm having a hard time accepting it, in fact I haven't, which makes things even more difficult, because I keep getting 'surprised' each time her wrath surfaces. I don't want to deal with it. Eight years of Brut was enough!
Somebody gotta keep these guys in check!
Another problem is Brut's aggression/possessive resource guarding was going on when we got him, so we were able to work with him early to curb some of it. Fiona listens to me, but I'm still struggling with how to handle it because I don't want to go through this again. I know, I know, they are Brut's kids and I should expect it, but honestly it caught me off guard.
Thank goodness it mostly with food and only certain circumstances, like training time, so that is a good thing.
So now it seems we have two Queens, Silver and Fiona. and the 24 Paws go marching on.
We had a spring snow storm today in our area in which we got about 5 inches of heavy, wet snow. The snow was a wonderful reminder of a happy memory of Brut that I would have forgotten about if it wasn't for the snowfall. And so I'll share...
Brut was not a licker. As a puppy he was, but once he grew up it phased out of him. He probably thought that giving kisses was too macho for a dog like him.
Our house can get pretty warm, running a wood furnace, depending on the temperatures and the dogs and I would need to cool off, so we would go outside to play and lay in the snow.
Whenever I would lay in the snow, Brut would come bursting from wherever he was at, stand over me and begin licking my face. I mean an all out face washing. Over and over again.
And Brut meant business. He's give my face the full scrub down, his face and eyes intent. He took this job seriously.
There were very few times that I was in a submissive position with Brut, this was one of them. Yet, I was treated as a Queen by him and given the Royal treatment. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't know why laying in the snow tipped him into becoming a dog washer or why he felt the need to scour my face with his tongue, but it was the only time he did it. It was such a cool feeling to have all that power loving me so intently. Nothing like a Brut facial.
I missed that this past winter, but I'm glad I have the memories to keep alive whenever I need them.
Brut was such an awesome dog. I really miss that boy.
Chance and Zappa had their first real meeting today. I say 'real' because they have had a couple of close encounters when the door that separates the two packs wasn't closed all the way and they saw each other. (no interaction)
Zappa
Today was different. I had just walked Zappa and when we got home I tied him to the mirror bracket on our old truck. Then I went in to get Chance. Unfortunately, Chance was all psyched up for a walk until he saw Zappa.
They barked at each other, but Chance did not pull or lunge as I walked him out of the gate and hooked him to the tree. They had plenty of space between them, 10 or 15 feet and all they did was bark at each other. Once they realized they couldn't get at each other, they stopped pulling on their leads. Then I brought out the treats and then they really settled down.
After a couple sits with treats, it became rather obvious Zappa and Chance were
both very nervous and scared. Zappa barked a nervous bark on and off. And Chance slumped into a sit with his head hanging heavy, shaking ever so slightly.
That's when I took Chance inside and then took Zappa in. That was a good start.
What's kind of funny is that when they confront each other in the house when the door opens by mistake, (this has only happened maybe 5 times ever) Chance and Zappa back up from each other and quiet down. They seemed to be surprised by each other without a barrier, but also I think they may remember each other. Call me crazy, but I think something registers inside of them as they grapple with that feeling. Not mention actually have a face-to-face conversation!
And wouldn't you know it I went to record the whole thing with our GoPro, I turned it on and thought it was recording, only to find that it wasn't. UGH!
At least it was a beginning. I hope to have a few more meetings like this and see how they go. Hubby and I are hoping to do some ground work this summer, so we'll see how it goes. Wish us luck!
**For those of you who are new readers and are wondering why we have two packs of dogs, you can read about it HERE or click the tab The Two Packs under the header.**
It has been 38 weeks (266)Days since,We laid Daddy Dog Brut To Rest.First of allI want to apologize to all my Friends for not posting for so long.(Christmas).This time period has been "BACK UP AND REGROUP"time for me to say the least.I also want to say a "THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH"to each and everyone of my Friends out there in the Facebook World.
Well it has been one Hellacious 60 days since I've posted a Update about my loss of my best Friend Daddy Dog Brut.It has been one roller coaster ride after another.I can not believe I have been able to keep up with everyday things that you have to doin order to survie.Get upget dress,go to workcome home,try to eatplay with the dogstry to take them all for a walk.Some times it has taken everything I havejust to go on Facebook.Sometimes I just send my Happy Birthdays and send all my Pokes Back.I am really so Grateful to all of you that Share what you do.
So it is just back to the basics for me.As each week went byit was like slow motion.Christmas was just another day except I am really Grateful I know the real meaning of Christmas,Thank God.Slowly but surely I have been able to spend more and more timewith each of the Family.Zappa and Fiona have been bonding really well with their mother Mama Dog Silver.It is like they all need ton protect each other more and more since Bruter Boy is not around anymore to protect us from all the outside Forces that are out there.But in reality,BRUT is still here besides us,only you can see him.I really can not describe the spririt that you can feel,when I am at home.It's really unreal,it is like,he is looking at us and talking through his Kids.(just a little note)I have his picture at the places I work and one in my Van,so no matter where I am at I can see Brut and talk to him.
So all and allthings are going OK.The hardest part is in the Morning when I try to get up.I really have to force myself to finally get out of bed.Thand God,my job does not start intil the afternoon.The last 6 years before Brut passed awayit was me and him in the morning.He always would sit next to me on the sofa,while I had my morning coffee and my cigarettes,and Mama Dog Silver would be on the other sofa.I would talk to himlike he was a human being.Most of the time I would do most of the talking.But every now and then he would have something to say,it was like he knew what I was saying.So he did put his two cents in.It was really awesome every Morningbeig with my Best Friend Bruter Boy and I .
Since he has been goneI nhave not been able to get up as early.Cus when I walk into the Living room and see the empty space where i sitit still fucks me up.So I do not get up until the kids,Zappa Fiona,Chance and Blaze start stirring around.That way I am not alone in the living room.I am getting a little better,but I know I will never be the same without Daddy Dog Brut next to me.And Honestly,Since Brut has passed away,I have had to force myself to eat each day alot of times,in the beginning,I would make sure I would drink my Protein Drink and eat a little bit.But for the most part i have to push myself.So I know it will get better in Time.
Well I am Rambling Now,I THANK GOD each and every day for Our Family Od dogs.They are helping me more than they will ever know.Spring is on its way,and I am going to spnd as much time with every one of them that i can.Thank God for my GOPRO.I am going to get as much filming of them as i can.Time goes much to fastto let a moment go by.Before you know it,it is gone in a wink of a Eye.
I Want to Thank each and everyone of my Facebook FRIENDS out there,for sharing all the things that you do.You will never know how much everyone of you have helped me,to keep moving forward in my life.Between my Family of Dogs PawsofLove,and all my Friends in the Facebook Land,I know IN TIMEI will be able to Share our Life with the 24Paws Of Love and put it in a Book,So I can share whats it really like to have a Family of Mama Dog,Daddy Dog and their Kids,Zappa,Fiona,Chance and Blaze.We have so much Love in our Home,it is unbelieveable.So THANK YOU ALL AGAIN MY FRIENDS.P.S.lots of wors are misspelled thank God this is not School.
MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL
Mark and th PAWS
P.S.I am going to share a video of treat time at night when Daddy Dog Brut was still with us.
In a couple of weeks it will be 9 months that Brut has been gone. My heart is still aching and breaking into pieces. I feel frozen. My brain doesn't want to work anymore and my body just wants to lay down and curl up with the dogs. I still feel empty and alone, even though Mark is going through the exact same thing. It was a year ago this month that we noticed Brut's right eye was full of blood, the first physical sign that something was wrong and the nightmare that followed until his death. I'm not ready to go through that again, but I probably will anyways. I'm having a hard time blogging and it's probably going to get worse as Brut's year anniversary closes in. Please pray for Mark, the dogs, the cats and I. We are going to need it. Thank you.
Love,
Mark, Patty and the 24 Paws of Love
p.s. if we aren't around for a while, I hope you understand why.
I've shared some precious moments with Zappa and Fiona since their dad, Brut died this past summer. A new camera helped in capturing these precious details:
