Brut, save me from the Boogie Man

It's the change of season.  And even though the weather has been warm, the skies have been sunny and the trees are still very green, it doesn't change the fact it is fall. It just draws it out.  I do alright through the day missing Brut.  It is as constant as my heart beat but it is when the night falls earlier and earlier each evening this is when it gets more difficult because my anxiety kicks in when I realize I don't have my protector by my side.  My Big Brut Boy and all his protective toughness is gone with him.  He helped to keep me solid that way.  I'd never want to see what Brut would've done to protect me, but I was always glad I could count on him if an event ever presented itself.

Brut was so strong and confident, completely self-assured, if not a little cocky.  There was nothing better than feeling carried by him on our walks.  Total control and domination.  It was like being clutched in big bear hug for life.  24/7.  He just wouldn't let go.  And I miss that terribly about his presence.  That bigger-than-life-awe-studded-presence.  And I miss the security of him being here.  My anxieties notice the difference too.  Brut used to keep me safe from all the boogie men that are out there and it just isn't the same without him here.

I don't know quite how to describe how it feels without him here protecting me. And that's not to discount the rest of the pack, they are great protectors, but there was something about Brut that you could cling to and feel like he could take on the world if needed.  It was one of the most debilitating things about his decline, he seemed indestructable.  I still can't get my head around how his being was so infalable and yet he died anyways.  It all happened so quickly and then it was over.  It stills blows my mind.

Take care my friends,
From our paws to yours,

Patty and 24 Paws of Love

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